hey!

I dunno why but... lately I'm too lazy to write a note, blog, or everything..

*NO! you just too lazy to type!!!! threw can to my self*

so to make this simple......

"I PASS MY FINAL PROJECT JUDGEMENT"

with a B+.... i know, i kindda dissapointed my self... but watdehel!!!! I'm gonna GRADUATE soon!!!! cheers to that!!!!

a lot of things happen in the process... the worst thing... that my Grandma passed away right before I got the result...

my whole family was there... we said goodbye to her in her deathbed...

just to be honest... i dunno what to feel... some part of me... are sad... some of 'em are relieved... coz she doesn't have to suffer anymore... she has bone-cancer.

it's feels like i have this BIG DARK HOLE inside me... getting bigger and bigger... a brand new feeling... that i dunno what is it...

i agree that I'm a lil bit apathetic.. *and so was told by my old-man* well there's another story that i dun want to share..

but this new feeling.... it's like the big dark hole is overflowing within me... that at some point I thought... it excites me... I dunno maybe you'll think of me as some psycho.. I dunno....

after that i felt silence surrounded me, my ears were numb, and I'm not crying... I dunno why, I tried to. and then i realized deep down there.. in the corner of my heart.... I'm relieved, coz, it's for the best of her...

when I saw her at the Singapore's hospital... when she was in a coma, she just couldn't do anything... all the needles, blood transfusion, etc etc.. that stuck to her body, leading to the machines that keep her alive, just doesn't seems right... so this is for the best.

after she passed away, my family prepare a funeral for her... *all that chinese tradition had to be fulfilled bla..bla...bla...*

in the middle of the process my aunt told me about my grandma's lil brother's dream that nite... she said that, he met my late grandpa and he looked so neat, handsome, like dressing for a wedding.. an old-time wedding.... and then he told him that to prepare anything coz he'll come and pick up my grandma soon... well that's the dream... and after that.. i felt completely relieved... coz i know my grandma is in a better place and in a good hands... ^^

well enough about that... no point mourning about it ^^

i said it again.... in the process many things happens beside the sad things...

well I got Mental Breakdown in the process....

I got depressed.... and thanks to and because of their video's about cosplay etc etc... i regain my conscious and will power... with some side effect... a life-time wish... that i have to cosplaying evem once in my life!!! LOL ^^

seriously, a very BIG thanks to them XD

and then thanks to that fought with me side by side even ran-away together from reality... mwahahahahhahaha!!!!

and then.... I spent approximately 2 millions rupiahs on printing and decorating... while my spent about 3 millions... that shocked me... really....

I also cut my thumb with a cutter.... damn that's hurt.....

got a several stabbing back pain....

and some dark circles around my neck....

i almost violated the deadline... but thanks to my lil sis and cousin, i got the help that i need...

they're rocks!!!

*and after i type all of this u still say that I'm too lazy to type?? throw the can back to whoever threw it...*

anyway... that's pretty much it... ^^

oh yeah, rite now i'm into criminal minds... and damn that matthew gray gubler is so fine!!!

MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!